I know, it's not a great holiday for the dog people is it? You've probably all had your share of drama and maybe even some doggie Valium. Boulder's not typically that bad relatively speaking. Every year I try to remember how in Chicago you get gunfire mixed in with your illegal street fireworks so maybe I don't have it so bad. Fireworks are illegal in Boulder but we all know how that goes.
We were muddling through o.k. for most of the night-Lola huddling in the bathroom and Strummer nervous but coping more or less in the living room. Cody somehow was sleeping through it all, one of the advantages of an 11 year old dog I guess. Until the loud high pitched whistling followed by the huge kaBOOM explosions started right outside my window. I ran outside to find burning embers flying over my roof. I ran around to the opposite side of the house that faces the street to find it full of smoke and an industrial strength pyrotechnics device in the street right outside my window. Then I realized it was being manned by my neighbors who are card carrying members of Boulder's ever burgeoning Wealth Without Work brigade. This is the part of the story where I start yelling bad words. Because it's bad enough that a bunch of dumbass idiots are trying to burn down my house and then block the street access from the firetrucks who might possibly save it but somehow it's that much more infuriating when those dumbasses are 30-something slacker trustfunders who've never worked for anything their entire lives.
'Can you take this somewhere else, you're scaring the shit out of my dogs', I start yelling at them. I get a sort of vacuous blank look. 'Look, you've set that thing up right outside my window, just what the hell is wrong with you??!! Do you have any idea what that sounds like inside my house?' I'm secretly hoping that some of the falling embers will light his scraggly long hippie hair on fire ala Michael Jackson when he had the pyrotechnics mishap while making that Pepsi commercial. Is that wrong of me? Finally I get a response. 'Sorry, we didn't realize it was that loud'. Uh, yeah, just how stupid do I look? I notice they set the gizmo up well away from their own house. Does having everything handed to you your entire life and never experiencing self-sufficiency really warp your world view that much? I decide it would be best to storm off in a huff now before I start in on some rant I'm going to regret. I have to live across the street from these asshats. The explosions do stop within a minute or two. Which is probably a good thing for all involved.
Lola left us a nice present to wake up to the following morning in the living room. She was too scared to go outside to do her business at bedtime and of course she wasn't going to wake us up to go outside during the night. She had a mighty case of the runs as well, icing on the cake. Maybe next year we pony up the money to rent a nice cabin in the middle of nowhere.