The week before last was difficult but good. But difficult. I took my first steer and heifer over to Utah to be processed. Or rather I paid a very wonderful and knowledgeable cattle woman and her father to haul them to Utah for me and Jonny and I followed behind. Of course it's not an easy thing. For years before I got the cows I wondered how I would deal with it, if I even could. The thing that helped the most was watching videos of other city type folk who had moved to the country and loved their animals and treated them kindly, allowing them to live their best lives then giving them the most humane 'bad day' they could. One especially kind man in particular had learned how to slaughter and butcher his sheep himself in the most respectful way. His channel is here, I won't post the video because I imagine it will upset people and I'm not trying to upset people or make some kind of point. I've made peace with the Circle of Life but not everybody else has. I have a friend who has always eaten meat who's already told me point blank that she refuses to eat the meat from any of my cows if she comes over for dinner. Even though she doesn't even particularly like the cows. And she eats factory farmed, grocery store meat which is a million times more inhumane and less healthy for humans, cows and planet alike. But I'm not here to judge or lecture or force her into something that makes her uncomfortable when she's a guest in my home. We all have our inconsistencies and I'm starting to think they're an important human coping mechanism. Because that's how I'm dealing with this - cognitive dissonance, denial, whatever you want to call it. I can't think about it too much or too deeply. My friend's father who helped trailer the cows said it's important for people to have a relationship with their livestock, it contributes to their quality of life. And my friend said the cows looked really good which made me feel better because I'm still only learning what 'really good' looks like and she's an expert.
I was surprised by the atmosphere at the processing plant. There was a herd of 20-30 sheep in the holding area and they were very calm, some of them coming up to the fence to be petted. My cows were also calm when they were unloaded. It was nothing like what I'd seen on t.v. and in documentaries. It's a very small place, they have only one butcher. I met him and he said he'd been doing it for 37 years and was really proud of his work. My friend commented that meat cutting is truly an art. I had to answer a lot of questions about how I wanted my meat cut up and I felt stupid not understanding what a lot of the terms meant. I had to ask a lot of questions. Hopefully I made good decisions because I'll confess that I'm still not sure what I signed up for.
The good side of this is that the remaining cows now have a somewhat better quality of life. At first I worried that they would miss their herd mates but that night all four of them were frolicking and running around, kicking up their heels with enthusiasm I hadn't seen in a while. If anything they seem more content and calmer in general. Six cows is too many for my land during an exceptional drought and the past 4 months have been hard on my pastures and my pocketbook. Hay is already expensive and many people are gauging, charging twice the normal prices. Thankfully I found a place just 5 minutes from my house that was selling for only slightly more than normal and I should have enough hay to take me through to when the pasture starts growing again.
I'm going to get a trailer and make the next processing appointments now so that I don't have and overstocking problem again. I'm still going to try to find someone to do on farm processing but at least I'll be prepared if I can't or if I can but the person falls through. It's interesting that many of the things I worry about aren't the problems I eventually end up having.
One cow is due to calve in May and the other is not yet pregnant. We'll try again on her next heat cycle and if it doesn't work I'll have to wait until late summer because if she gets pregnant much later she'll be calving in winter which I really don't want. I also like the idea of the calves being farther apart. It makes management more difficult but it will help with the overstocking issue. It feels really good to be back down to 4, so much more manageable.
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Last week my back finally felt recovered enough to attempt a full on, 'real' Crossfit sort of workout. I'd been gently easing back into weight lifting the previous week or two and it didn't feel like I was overdoing it but it's taken me 2 days to feel sort of recovered. I had to trudge through 6" of uncharacteristically wet sloppy snow yesterday to dig out the wire cow fence that had become buried in snow and remove the coat of ice off the wire and this was not fun with sore muscles, especially my poor arm muscles. But I got it done and today finally feels better. Hopefully the bike trails are groomed and I can get the Fatty up there for some riding. And more snow is on the way! Hopefully. The recent moisture finally seems to be making a dent in the drought. Hopefully the trend will continue on through spring. Mud season isn't my favorite but I'll welcome it if it means some much needed moisture.
I'll end with a nice sunset because why not?
In the heat of the night walking into a dream.
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